Will you never find it ?

Came across this warning article when reading my mail: https://www.glassdoor.com/blog/application-red-flags. The problem is, not one thing written there I noticed about the last job except that I was offered the job almost too fast.

I guess the advice to never take a job when you are at a needy place still holds true. When you are at a needy place, you tend to allow the not so desirable traits and warnings to get through because you are just so interested to go. Issues and problems that will eventually become the reason you leave the new place will never seem big enough to deter you from the new place when you are needy. I have lived through where I am a lot but the one thing that still bugs me where I am is the answer I gave my daughter when she asked me "Daddy, what exactly are you looking for ?" which was a surprisingly introspective question and took me aback, taking me quite a few minutes to give her a convincing answer. At last it came to me and the answer is, I just want a company that respects me. A company that respects our time offs and leave and does not judge you through the glass of project achievements. At the end of the day, one that respects you as a human being.

I can find you at least 10 companies that pay lip service to seeing you as human but for that really does this walk I don't know. I have not found it yet. A company or a boss that has a heart.

These kind of companies is not easy to find and it makes me want to laugh when interviewers ask me incredulously why I have been changing companies so often the past few companies. It makes me almost want to scream out to them "Wouldn't you if you were looking for a good fit ?" No matter how many howtos or articles on gaining insights into your new place of work during interviews that you read, I have found that there are still so important clues that you will not like this new place you are going to that you will not be able or is extremely difficult to read during an interview.

How would you want to convince your boss that the culture of working hard which he or she holds on to is not one that you share ?

How would you want to convince your hiring manager that what he or she is currently doing is perhaps not the best management style they adopt ?

These are highly personal traits or visions that people have developed and can't be changed easily or risk you brushing the whole upper echelons of the company the wrong way if you tried and believe me I have tried and failed at this very exercise. 

So, I don't know, I am still looking out for the reasons stated above. There are no conclusions to the thoughts here as I really have no answers or solutions yet. I don't know. I am tired of looking yet when I compare it, it tires me even more to stay where I am, so I continue the search.

Day 6 of water fast

Feeling:

Feel okay today energy level good. The damn side stitch was quite bad today

Weight:

69 kg - weight seems to have stalled.

Remarks:

Cotton mouth no more. Felt very "empty" at the end of the day and very tempted to go get something to eat.

Day 5 of water fast

Feeling:

Feel okay today energy level good. Strangest part all of the days I don't feel any hunger at all during morning hours.

Weight:

69 kg

Remarks:

Cotton mouth gone, pain at the side of the ribs remain but less pronounced.

Day 4 of water fast

Feeling:

Feel okay today energy level good

Weight:

70kg

Remarks:

Cotton mouth very pronounced today and mouth feels dry although water intake was increased

Lipid profile (After 3 days of fast):

Total - 13.2
HDL - 2.0
LDL - 11.0
Triglycerides - 0.5
Total / HDL - 6.6

Day 3 (72 hour mark)

Day 3 (72 hour mark)
Feeling: There is still back pain but less and foot today felt very tender during barefoot morning run.

 - Tiredness: Energy level is better today.

- Weight: 171kg Waist: 31 inches

Day 2 of 7 days of fasting

Day 2 (48 hour mark)
Feeling: There was a fair bit of back pain at about 11 am to 3 pm but after that it went away. I don't feel any hunger. Today I am doing a dry fast.

 - Tiredness: None just don't feel like running around or anything like that. Energy level is just a bit low but I don't feel bad. Sleepiness there is quite a fair bit reaching the 5:00 pm mark.

- Weight: 172kg Waist: 31 inches

Easily staying afloat on High Sierra

Whenever I use Mac I always miss "Always On Top" functionality for my windows. Don't ask me why up until today MacOS stubbornly refuses to add this functionality. Afloat is the closest I have found to make this work on Mac (though not all windows works)

The last time I tried installing Afloat, I had to slaughter a chicken and dance with it's blood smeared all over my body in the cold moonlight ... to make it work so this time when I my mini could not boot up anymore, I had to look find the way to install it again and I was filled with dread.  There are a few guides on getting it to work and a lot of them did not work or worked for earlier versions not the latest High Sierra. Finally I found this: https://www.maketecheasier.com/mac-keeping-your-application-window-always-on-top/

It's the easier to do, though you still probably have to reboot and disable System Integrity Protection on Mac. So finally it's working again ...

 Yayy ! Back to pretending to do something productive.