Saturday, July 17, 2021

Time here is ending ?

    Time here with my team after so long (coming to 3 years), looks like is inevitably coming to an end. Am I pissed ? Damn right I am. We are kind of paying the price of someone's insecurities, he fears we have to go. It's been a journey and unfortunately the journey ends in melodrama. I did not plan for this to be a tragedy or drama. It's supposed to be a feel good movie. How can I spot these kinds of things before actually joining a company during the initial courtship of interviews ? For this one, during the initial stage I did not even detect anything. I just noticed that the A-hole was kind of dismissive during the interview, cutting me off in mid flight during my sentences but the content of what he was saying was positive or neutral at best. I mean who in their right mind would go out and show your worse side during the interview right ? I wish I knew of some questions to uncover Jerk bosses ? I guess something like this would be serviceable ? 

https://www.themuse.com/advice/10-questions-ask-job-interview-avoid-bad-boss

Something like this: https://www.themuse.com/advice/the-best-interview-questions-to-ask-if-you-want-the-truth-about-company-culture 

perhaps to uncover bad company cultures ? It's not easy moving from company to company, it's stressful on us too as we are again thrust into the proving battlegrounds of being unconfirmed after surrendering all of your previous progress in the previous company at it's door. I feel naked usually hit hard with culture shock as well as another strong case of impostor syndrome. 

I can tolerate a lot of things where I work, but not being undermined, belittled and dismissed. I just have to keep on asking myself what the hell that I did wrong and which deity I accidentally killed on my way to work one day, as I have no freaking idea. The good side to all of this ugliness though, is I have clarified and understood the things that I want and my mission in life. Guess what ? It's not just purely about DevOps. DevOps at the end of the day is just a tool. A means to an end. What has always interested me is how to create a place of work where engineers can humanely work to contribute their time while still being able to hit company goals. Admittedly I think this motto and goal needs further clarification and refinement. Like the author, this goal needs work and is at this stage still a WIP. 

I hit upon this when interviewing with another company who advertised for a "Senior DevOps lead", could not afford it and at the end of it tried to stretch it's reach by asking me to come up with a "Go to Market" plan which usually are done by teams ... yes teams in other companies. Really Meh-9 wasted my time with that stinker. We should all just maintain a list of Cina Apek companies that should be avoided during interviews. Glassdoor did not help much during this process too as most of the reviews looked positive. 

That's pretty much all I got to say for now, I hope this blog will become my therapist as I pour out my pains, insecurities, anger and disappointments here and out of the ashes of all my pains will come out a better me and hopefully I will finally land somewhere that will appreciate me for what I contribute and somewhere where I grow with the company. 

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